Tears for Persephone

I've been in a bit of a sour mood lately and I don't know why. I wrote this to kind of cleanse my brainspace.

~~~~~~~~~~

They call it the golden hour. The hour that draws in the final breath of a day and exhales dusk. The hour when the sun paints the sky bruised and blood-smeared and slinks off to lick its wounds—to rejuvenate. The hour when shadows creep and crawl and devour. The hour before the hush and stillness of an ending descends and dreams are free to walk in the comfort of the night—dreams of new days, new beginnings, and open horizons. 

Lost in the golden hour, he sat numbly watching the heavy drops of a December sun-shower slide down the window of the cafe. Fat, heavy opals refracting the last of the golden light like tears for Persephone. He couldn’t help but think of the unceasing march of mortality in times like this. The seemingly endless drag of life. The burden and expectation of continuance. He envied the rain for its impermanence—for its freedom to evaporate, to transform, to become something other. He inhaled—a long, slow breath that took in the hum and din and rattle of conversation and clatter—and exhaled wishing for the fog and calm of silence. 

He felt heavy, as if his skin held the leaden weight of deadlines and priorities and reliance. His shoulders slumped beneath the encumbrance of obligation and the onus of being needed. He wanted to shrug. To let it all fall crashing to the floor. To delight in the wreckage of responsibility and regain the youthful freedom of summers spent idle and complacent in the notion that this is as hard as it will ever get. He wanted the freedom of not knowing. He wanted to surrender the hard earned lessons that only come of blood and tears and scars. To lose the wisdom that comes of mistakes and heartache. He wanted to see beauty and hope again instead of the pervasive madness and desolation of an epoch of hardship. 

He was tired.  The kind of tired that soaks deep into muscles and bones. The kind of tired that gleefully mocks every fiber of will mustered against it. The kind of tired that makes men want to sleep for millennia and dream of the gentle sway of the ocean and the wet kiss of sea mist. He gathered his strength. Willed his limbs into motion. He didn’t shrug. He hefted the burden of life, of responsibility, of adulthood and stood.  Like the sun he had too much to do to give in to the bone-weariness. He walked into the rain. Looking up, he let the rain kiss his face; listened to the gentle, renewing whisper of  it. He smiled.

Tomorrow is another day.

Proper Cell Phone Etiquite, or How Nobody Wants to Hear Your Mouth.

Cell phones are one of the best things to happen to communication, and one of the worst. I am constantly torn between my love for my smart phone, and my absolute abhorrence of fucktards that don't understand the simple, basic rules of conducting themselves in public when it comes to the proper usage of these miraculous devices. So hark, fucktards! And hear ye well, for I shall impart unto you the sage wisdom of the modern age. 

1. Inside Voices:  Seriously, there is no need to yell into your cell phone, and even less need to yell into your bluetooth headset. Unless you are standing under a jet engine the person on the other end can hear you just fine...unless they are standing under a jet engine. In either case... hang up and try again later.

2. Bluetooth Headsets: No, seriously... you look like a douchebag. Unless you are driving, there is absolutely no need to wear the damn bluetooth. You don't need to wear it into the grocery store. You don't need to wear it in the restroom. Hold your phone like a normal fucking person. 

3. Driving: Get a hands-free unit or shut the fuck up. There is nothing in the universe important enough that you need to talk about it while drifting into my lane. Shut the fuck up and drive.

4. Content: If you are going to have a deeply personal conversation, do it somewhere private. The people in line behind you at the check-out don't need to hear about how well your vagina did at the gynecologists office, or how Uncle Skeevy touched your no-no spots as a child. Save that shit for your therapist's office or take it the fuck outside. 

5. Common Courtesy: (Note-I know, I know... there is no such thing as common courtesy these days) I may be biased by my years of service in the retail industry, but if I exert the effort to paste a plastic smile on my face and pretend to give a shit that you have walked up to my register by greeting you with a friendly hello then the least you can do is acknowledge my fucking presence by prying your cell phone away from your douchey face long enough to return the greeting. Hell, even a cursory nod in my direction would do more to appease my ire than your complete disregard. I realize that I am currently playing the part of a lowly cashier and that you are obviously far more important than me, but would it really kill you to show me a little bit of respect as a human being by asking the person on the other end of the conversation (who also probably thinks you're a tool) to hold on while you check-out?

5. When in doubt: Shut the fuck up. Seriously, nobody wants to hear your mouth.

Oops... I did it again.

So, yesterday I posted a status update on my FB page which was then reposted by a friend. My intent was to point out that, yeah, Amy whats-her-face drugged herself to death (Darwinian theory working as intended) and people were making a huge deal out of it while ignoring the more important event that had occurred that day: 92 people being murdered by a Christian extremist in Norway.

I just had to post the ensuing conversation for posterity and hilarity. So, for those of you not fortunate enough to have enjoyed this on Buie's FB page, I give you "The Angry Teabagger."

 

I apologize for the shitty image quality. 

I didn't feel the need to throw gas on the fire by pointing out that I am not alone in viewing the tea party as an extremist fringe political cult. With figureheads like Limbaugh, Bachmann, Glenn Beck, and Sarah Palin it's hard to take them seriously, and easy to see why I would equate them to gun loving, religious, xenophobic, anti-anything-not-Christian fuckbags like this Norwegian bomber chap. 

Being Wil Wheaton

I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to come out and say it. I have always felt that I have spent much of my life trapped in the wrong body. I'm not saying I have a pressing desire to wear silky bottoms or anything. My problem isn't one of sexual identity (I like innies, not outies), but rather one of expectations. It struck me recently when I was accused of acting macho simply by standing with my arms crossed (I have back issues so standing with my arms crossed helps align my posture into a comfortable position) that people see me as some oafish man-brute.  I am often called things like "Big fella" or "Hoss" (whatever the fuck that means). When I talk to people they genuinely seem surprised that I am a moderately intelligent individual. I think when people look at me they expect me to act something like this:

When on the inside I think, act, and feel more like this:

Seriously... I'm like a neck beard away from joining a LARP group! (No offense to my LARPing friends... I'm just not that far gone yet).

Take tonight for example: in my Intro to Psych class we were discussing cognitive abilities associated with learning and memory. The professor put a series of numbers on the board (1-7-7-6-1-4-9-2-1-8-1-2-1-9-4-1)  and asked us to memorize them and then moved on. At the end of class I raised my hand and recited them perfectly. He seemed kind of surprised that I remembered them. I said it was easy. As soon as I saw the numbers I recognized them as significant dates in American history, so I broke them down and remembered them as simply as this:

1776-Declaration of Independance

1492-Columbus sailed the ocean blue (and wiped out an entire native population)

1812- comma the war of

1941- The bombing of Pearl Harbor. 

To me, no biggie--a simple task. But the Professor seemed surprised. 

The moral of this story is that I feel like people look at me and expect some mindless slab of idiot-meat. My physical being does not reflect my mental being. I look like someone who should be out tailgating, "ahhh-guy'ing" about football, high-fiving my buddies, and chest-bumping over our sexual conquests. In reality I am a 5+ year subscriber to World of Warcraft with multiple max level characters. I love reading fantasy novels (WoT, Song of Ice and Fire, Malazan etc.).  I love video games, comic books, cartoons, super heroes, and movies about all of the above. I watch just about every sci-fi show on the Sci-Fi channel (I refuse to use their idiotic new moniker). And--brace yourself--I like Star Trek more than I like Star Wars. *ducks*

So basically what it boils down to is that I want be like Wil Wheaton. The man just makes geekdom look cool! 

...okay... maybe not THAT cool.

My boy Darwin

Okay, I admit it. I lapsed. I promised I wouldn't fall off the planet, and I did. I lied. I'm a big fat liar pants. Get over it.

I'm Kinda sorta working again. I took a part time job working for a friend of mine at the State Liquor and Wine outlet. I love it. The people are awesome, we have a lot of laughs. It is a total reversal of my last eleven years where I hated the majority of the people I worked with, and wouldn't piss on most of them if they spontaneously combusted. I would more likely roast marshmallows on their twitching corpses... and I don't even like marshmallows! I'm also back working the door at "The Bar". Again, I like it. Easy money. The store is great, but I'm not sure it is a long-term deal. My severance is slowly shrinking and I should probably start looking for something more permanent and lucrative if I want to maintain my little nest egg. I'll hold onto the bar as long as possible--easy money and all--and it wouldn't really interfere with a M-F 9-5 type gig.

I am also taking two classes this term. History I, and Humanities II. History isn't bad because it's in class. I somehow thought it would be a great idea to take Humanities as an online course. I was wrong. I liken it to repeatedly hitting myself in the face with a bag of hammers. Anyway, the impetus for this post is that in my humanities class we have to post discussions about historical figures, artists, literature, paintings... all that smartsy type shit. So I posted about Darwin and the theory of evolution since it was period specific (Neoclassical/Romantic era). Holy fucking Christ on a stick you'd think I just prison raped the virgin Mary!

I get comments like this shit:

"i find darwins  ideas and beliefs to be intriguing,  although i have christian beliefs and therefore i do not believe his  theories, i still find his  work to be very interesting everyone has a different perspective in life."

Really? You don't believe hundreds of years of scientific proof, human genome mapping, genetic studies of both flora and fauna, entire libraries filled from floor to ceiling of documented, empirical, scientific data that all points to the fact that evolution is real and ongoing? Do you also not believe that the sun is the center of the solar system and that dinosaurs once roamed the earth? You do realize that even the catholic church accepts the principles of evolution to be fact right?

"I also have Christian beliefs, and I do find Darwin's theory interesting and I could see why people would believe that. A part of me thinks that what he believes makes sense and all, but I've had the fact that we were created drilled into my head for so long that it's kind of hard to think anything else happened."

And a part of me believes you almost pulled your head out of your ass long enough to think for yourself instead of letting years of indoctrination do your thinking for you.

Don't get me wrong, if a grown adult wants to believe a fairy tale about a giant magical dude in the sky wiggling his fingers to make things happen, all the power to ya! I have no problem with people looking for an explanation for their existence. It's just when people bury their heads in the sand and refuse to THINK outside the biblical box that I get a little perturbed. I may be a godless heathen, but even I know that your good books tells us that G-to-the-D gave humans the gift of free will, which comes with perks like making your own decisions and questioning the workings of the natural world. I am even okay with the belief that G-to-the-D kick-started the universe and let it evolve on its own. But to deny scientific proof of something simply because it wasn't written down in your book is just childish and inane.

I'm not a "take things on faith" kinda guy. I believe in what I can see, touch, feel, examine, question, and tangibly witness. I would love for God to come down, pat me on the back and say "hey, look, here I am. All my glory and awesomeness and shit. Let's talk." And I would accept his existence without further question or denial, but until that day I rely on proof. Hard proof. Not that frilly shit like "well then how do you explain *insert some seemingly miraculous event here*" or "Well the bible says *insert circumstantial evidence of God here*." I'm sure there are all sorts of events that, on the surface, appear entirely miraculous. Just as I am sure there is a scientific explanation for all of them. I don't believe in ghosts, Zeus, Coyote,  Allah, Yahweh, or any other member of the forgotten pantheons of gods and goddesses that came before this incarnation of convenient explanation, or any that may follow. If that means we cant be friends, I'm sorry to hear that, but at least you used your "god given" ability for free thought to come to that decision.

Mediocre Man Vs. Provocation II

Got a facebook email from *Frank* this AM.

Hey MM, I wasn't taking a shot at you personally. I sometimes consider it a bit unfair to take all of the shots at Bush. It has become politically hip to denigrate him. I didn't agree with a lot of his policies either, but I sometimes feel that he is far less appreciated for what he did do, and the manner in which he did it. I usually like to call things as I see them and don't always go with the flow. Good discourse here though, and no offense intended and none taken.

To which I responded:

Hey Frank,

I never felt that our discourse strayed into ad hominem territory. It seems we are making the same point only from opposite sides. It has become equally popular to denigrate Obama. I just feel passionately that people should look at things from both sides before passing judgment. I wasn't a Bush fan but I can agree that he did some things right. It may surprise you that I am not a big Obama fan either, despite having voted for him. In times like these we need fiscal responsibility, not rampant spending and governmental nannying. It may also surprise you that I voted for some republicans in the midterm election for those reason exactly. I'm pretty centrist really. 

I never felt attacked. I just enjoy a good honest argument now and then and can get a little punchy. Likewise, no offense was intended and none was taken.

And then to the thread, which continues:

My friend the Bushist: I do not think we can color confusion . Confusion is a state of mind. Bush did what he needed to do to protect our country. I do not agree with a lot of his policies. But, you have to agree that with the current President we have now, is that he does not have a clue.

Roger: 8 years with Bush ,2 with Obama, 10 years of confusion. i believe the old addage is true, men will not ask for directions when they are lost. (2 people like this. Me and Frank.) 

Frank:  Well put *MM, Bushist and Roger*. I believe the whole political process as it stands now is lost. The political dialogue is mostly being hijacked by both far right and far left activists who conveniently control different aspects of either the ...media or vast amounts of capital that is used to control back door attempts and sometimes not so back door attempts to sway public opinion through quite often not totally honest statements. The problem is that what makes common sense to a far righter is abhorrent to a far lefter and vice versa. And most people for years have become far removed from the political process. The average voter is far less informed than he or she should be. And political advertising consists of mostly dishonest or disingenuous sound bites. The answer ? At stake ? What direction is this country going to go in. Will it continue to to be what the forefathers set it up to be ? Or is it even that now ? This is a very interesting time in the history of this country and so, for the world. We might not all realize it but the future as we will live it is being determined as we go. There is truth in what all of us have written here but ultimately the people we elect will determine that direction. Food for thought for us all. (2 people like this. Me and Roger) 


Me: To Roger's point: I couldn't agree more. The thing is, we aren't going to fix 8 years of mess in 2 years. I voted for Obama, but I'm not exactly thrilled with the rampant spending in a time where fiscal responsibility is needed. I just think it is fair to cut the guy a little bit of a break considering the shit storm he walked into. Anybody stepping into that office, even old Crusty McDusty McCain himself would have been hard pressed to please anyone in such a climate.

And to Frank's statement: Again, couldn't agree more. Somewhere along the lines we forgot to be a nation of, for, and by the people and became a nation of, for, and by the highest bidders. Our government was lost the second it became a get rich quick scheme with officials in the pockets of big business. I understand the system needs money to grease the wheels, but I also don't want my government run on the whims of billionaire industry looking for more billions.

Gentlemen, good discourse. It was a supreme pleasure to converse with such well versed individuals.






And we all live happily ever after. 


(Surprise! I'm not a Democrat as I am often accused. I vote independent of party affiliation.)

Mediocre Man Vs. Provocation

Why do people provoke me? Seriously!

Another tale of woe from the Facebook chronicles. A friend of mine (despite his irrational love of the retard formerly known as President Bush) posted a link to Dubya's new memoir with the caption "He did care about this country!" Which was fine. I took no umbrage to this.  We are all entitled to our opinions. I didn't like Bush or his policies, but my friend did and I respect that. As a rational human being I don't understand it, but I respect it.

Of course, then the right wing loons have to come out and play. This is the thread, word for word (names changed of course) that ensued.


Frank: He took one for us and never complained or defended himself. He protected the country and the office of the President. (2 people like this)


Deb: LMAO! History will tell.

Me: no comment (aren't we having fun!)


Karen: *name removed* are you sure that's not a coloring book he's signing? (1 person likes this. Me.) 


Jane: *Karen* funny comment will give ya that..but be is alright..straight shooter and 1000xs better than the dickhead that is in office now!

(now my ire is stirred.)

Me: Forget not who the present dickhead inherited his mess from.

My friend who posted: brotha you do have to remember who put us there. Barney Frank Chris Dodd (Housing mess), wow they were Democrats, and they controlled Congress. *Karen* I hope so I like to color. (2 people like this)


Jane: Yes *MM* it was his fellow dickhead democrats in the house. (1 person likes this)


Frank: George Bush didn't create the housing mess (Barney Frank, Chris Dodd and liberal Dem lending rules) nor did he create a no win climate in the US auto industy (unions). He did instill confidence and a sense of unity and pride after 9-11, which everyone seems to forget. I would have had no other Pres on 9-12. And, he is a selfless, sincere Patriot, proud to be an American, which cannot be said about the current socialist apologizer. (1 person likes this) 


Me: Bush also got us into a useless war that has cost us trillions of dollars. And the housing crisis started before the Clinton administration when the elder Bush administration chose to ignore warnings about derivatives regulation. I'm not blowing rainbows up Obama's ass here, I'm just saying that the right has a tendency to ignore/forget the past while blaming the new guy for everything their party is responsible for.

(Am I the only one being reasonable here or am I playing devils advocate?) 


Bill: And the left contiues to believe in "HOPE".....close my eyes and let's hope this all gets better in the morning? It was the Dems that refused to have Freddie & Fannie investigated by stating that both (freddie & fannie) were stable....according to Barney Frank....but then again maybe Barney was having a conversation about the TABLE....being stable.


( I think Bill tried to make a funny and failed.)


Me: I dont disagree about the left's unrealistic optimism. I just think that if people are going to lay blame and point fingers they should at least attempt to learn the facts involved. Blind obsequence, regardless of party affiliation, does nobody any good.

Frank: it seems the blind obsequence started with your quote "Forget not who the present dickhead inherited his mess from". Don't forget, despite the rejection that just happened in this last election, both Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid have all stated that they "didn't properly sell their message to the American people". The American people know exactly what they are selling, and that is exactly why the people aren't buying !

(I don't think Frank knows what "obsequence" means.)  


Jane: Bravo *Frank* well said!   (yeah, he really showed me!)

Me: Color me confused. How exactly is my original statement blind obsequence? Are you denying that the current administration inherited a mess of a war and trillions of dollars of deficits and record debt incurred by the Bush administration? I ...harbor no illusions that the Obama administration is infallible, but nor do I think the Bush administration is inculpable. I never claimed that Obama hasn't had his failings, just that it is unfair, and lazy, to lay blame solely on the Obama administration. My original statement was not an indictment, but rather a call for rational thought. Something I often forget is an unreasonable expectation when dealing with single minded party extremists on either side of the aisle.

My point... if you are too lazy, or just incapable of doing your homework before running your mouth... STFU.  

I'll update if any further developments occur. 









 

Mediocre Man Vs. Unemployment week 1

Last week was the end.

I showed up at work Monday morning (on time) and my boss announced that we were done. A coworker who had been previously released showed up so he and I and the other shipping guy hit the Bratskeller Pub for a nice extended lunch and a few Sam Adams Octoberfest's before heading back to the office for our exit interviews. Being slightly buzzed makes dealing with the retards in HR a little less annoying. So at noonish on Monday October 4, 2010 I officially became a member of the unemployed masses.

I woke up Tuesday and it felt almost like a vacation day--only without the cold dread of my inevitable return to work breathing down my neck. I made a short, kinda sorta list of goals Tuesday morning:

1. Continue to go to bed and get up at the same time I usually do. 

This will hopefully keep me from falling into the trap of staying up all night and sleeping all day. 

2. Get as much of my course work done for my current class as I can. 

My goal here is to finish all my assigned course work before the end of next week. I need to take my final a week early since the GF and I will be embarking on our Jamaican adventure during the last week of class. 

3. Establish a routine to keep myself from becoming too lazy and complacent in my unemployedness. 

Tuesday: I worked primarily on finishing the 4 page research paper I had been assigned on the first night of class and was due that evening (and in true 11th hour fashion hadn't started until the week before). I managed to bang the paper out and read a full chapter and complete one of the lab assignments. I was quite proud of the accomplishment of actually doing something productive.

Wednesday: I decided to tackle some of the clutter. I am a renowned neat freak and drive my GF crazy. She sees a few things on the table as no big deal, I see a few things on the table as a mess that will niggle at my brain until I clean it up. So Wednesday I spent cleaning, vacuuming, organizing, did a load of dishes, and generally picking up the house. Once that was out of the way I flopped down and proceeded to clean out the DVR by watching some neglected shows. (So far, not loving Undercovers as much as I loved Alias, but I have faith in J.J. Abrams to do me proud).

Thursday: By Thursday I was already feeling like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. That whole "vacation" feeling from Tuesday had already worn off and I was feeling more like a shut-in than a man on hiatus. On vacations I don't mind being cooped up in the house because I know my time of relaxation and rejuvination is limited, but that feeling has already turned to stir craziness. I did some more homework, picked up the house a little more, and finally scraped off the week old growth of beard I had been cultivating for my stint as a jobless bum.

 I didn't draw this, just found it here and thought it was funny.

Friday: "It's Friday... I aint doing shit!"

So sayeth my facebook status. I decided that, being Friday, it would be perfectly acceptable to do as little as humanly possible. I slouched around the house in my boxers and played WoW until noon (yes, I am a fat gamer geek) and didn't clean myself up until almost 1pm when I ordered lunch and brought food to the GF at work. After lunch I came back home and watched some more DVR (not enamored with Haven either. Cute lead actress but the acting is bad and the stories are kinda lame and played out. I shouldn't have expected much considering it is a Stephen King brainchild). 

The weekend was an average weekend. I decided Sunday afternoon to clean up the back yard while the GF was out at a friends birthday gig. I mowed, did a little raking, put away the patio furniture for the winter and made a Home Depot trip for some pavers to put the fire pit on. And since I had this newly situated fire pit I decided what better time to have a fire. I made a fire for myself and hung out alone in front of it with Pandora playing me some nice relaxing tunes (Flogging Molly, Dropkick Murphys, and Social Distortion). 

Week one wasn't so bad. I know for week two--and beyond--I will need to expand my list of "things to do when you're unemployed" to combat the stir crazies.

Medicore Man vs. Potpouri of everything

As I stated in my last entry, my company has finally begun to shut down. Things happened super fast. After our notices a few weeks ago we wrapped production, all our production people were released and we started breaking everything down. There are only like 10 of us left and it is super quiet. My coworker and I have been showing up to pretty much hang out and wait around in case something happens. Yesterday we both arrived a few minutes late and my fucktard of a boss chewed us out for not being on time. After that we sat around and waited all day for the dumpsters to be emptied (never happened) and left 2 hours early for lack of anything to do. Seriously? You are going to bitch because I am ten minutes late and I dont end up doing a fucking thing ALL DAY!?

My mind, it was boggled.

Boss man tells me that he wants to hold on to me and the other shipping guy until after the auction which is October 6th, I was hoping to be out of here before then.

In School related news, I am about midway through intro to IT already. My professor is actually pretty effing awesome, and he looks EXACTLY like Tommy lee Jones. There is also a kid in my class who could be Dane Cook's twin.

I've not been to the gym in almost 2 months (bad Rob! Bad!) But in my defense it had been quite hectic at work trying to get everything finalized. I was sweating my ass off for 8 hours a day and the last thing I had the energy to do at the end of it was truck my tired ass to the gym for another 2 hours of sweat and labor. Hopefully once I am finally released from purgatory I can get myself onto a better routine. My plan is to follow in the footsteps of my friend Nicki who has begun her journey to become a runner. I would like to start running and riding my bike and trying to eat healthier. We'll see.

And that's about that. I'm on the verge of stepping into the great unknown, and that is where this whole blog should get interesting. I stated in my original post that this blog was meant to chronicle my unemployment, job/career search and education. And this; hopefully, is the beginning.

Mediocre Man vs. The End of Days

I started this morning out in sort of a foul temper. Not for any particular reason other than that it's Monday, it's muggy, and it's Monday. My Facebook status read:

Dear Monday,
I hate you.
~R

 As soon as I walked in my boss was waiting for me to inform me that today was the day! The day we have all been awaiting for 3 years. The day we finally get our final 60 day termination notices! So I punched in and got the great news, after just over 10 years I will finally be done with this place on (or before) October 15, 2010. This works out perfectly. If I finish up before then I will continue to collect a weekly paycheck until 10/15 without actually having to come in (best case scenario), or I work up to the end and collect my severance package the week after the 15th (worst case scenario). Either way it is win/win. I will finish up, take a week off, and then the international girl of mystery and I are off to a much needed vacation in Jamaica for a week!!! ZOMG! Then I will come back and start looking for a nice gig that will allow me time to focus on school a little more while still having a little income. Plan is to not live off my severance but bank it and let it grow a little.

This calls for a happy dance!

Mediocre Man Vs. Intro to Photography

Intro to Photography has been fun. The Professor is fun and knowledgeable--if a little flighty. I had a great time and learned quite a bit about my camera. I am now a lot more comfortable taking my camera off of full-auto and venturing into the Av, Tv, and Manual settings on the dial. 

Our first graded project was to do a portrait for class. I originally intended to photograph my mom (the most beautiful woman in the world) but our schedules could never jive, so in accordance with my creative endeavors moniker (11th Hour Productions/Photography) I waited until the last possible moment to find a subject and start shooting. Fortunately my nieces are all friggin adorable and almost all of them like to ham it up in front of a camera. I took this photo during a family cookout.

I titled it Watermelon and Ginger

I got an A on this project, and how could I not with such a charismatic model!? :) 

Next up, we had to shoot a photo-essay. Simply put, we had to tell a story using only images (3-7). We weren't allowed to talk during the presentation of our images, they had to tell their own story and the class had to guess what that story was. I chose to put my camera to good use photographing mi amigo Ken's acoustic music festival. I managed to snag quite a few great images during that event and used a few as my photo-essay. 

I felt that the story was pretty evident and that my shots were pretty good... but alas I only got a B on this assignment. Tomorrow is my final exam for Intro to Photography and hopefully I do better on the final than I did on the midterm (got a C, but in my defense there were questions on there that we never covered in class). 

After tomorrow I get a 2 week break from school and then it's off to Intro to IT. Wootsors!

Mediocre Man vs. The Halfwit Professor

So, GF and I are going to Jamaica at the end of October (woohoo!) and this just so happens to coincide with the last week of term 1. I talked to my (extremely attractive) adviser and she recommended I contact the professor for the course I am taking next term to see if we could work out something that allowed me to take the course rather than skipping a term. So I sent him this email:

Good day Professor Halfwit (names changed to protect the retarded),

My name is Mr. Awesome (name changed to protect my anonymity), I am planning on taking your Intro to IT course next term. I spoke with *hot adviser girl* about a small issue I have regarding the end of the term. My girlfriend and I have planned and paid for a trip to Jamaica the week of October 23-30. This just happens to coincide with the last week of the term, and I imagine finals as well. *Hot adviser girl* suggested that I contact you to see if you would be amenable to the idea of allowing me to do some extra course work and perhaps taking the final early so as to avoid the necessity of taking off the entirety of the term to accommodate our trip. Any assistance you might offer in this matter would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Mr. Awesome

Now, I know I can sometimes fall into the trap of over utilizing my sizable vocabulary ( I swear I try to only use my powers for good... really!) but I thought I was pretty straight forward and concise in asking if I could do more work and do my final early so as to take the last week of the course off to go to Jamaica. Feel free to inform me otherwise.This is what I got back:

The only option is to complete the final early.  You would need to complete all course requirements and take the final  in week 7.

HW

Ummm... isn't that what I just fucking said?  Thanks for not answering my question at all! Now I am trying to figure out a way of responding that doesn't involve me calling him a complete fucktard while still eliciting the yes or no response I was originally after. Best to not berate the person I am begging favors from I suppose. 

On the plus side, if this mouth breather can become a college professor, maybe I should listen to my English professor and become a teacher, after all... I couldn't possibly be as bad as this baddie.

Mediocre Man vs. Vacation & Turning 32

Last week I decided it was high time I took a vacation. I didn't necessarily need to go anywhere or do anything, I just needed to get away from work for a while to reinvigorate myself. Besides, I hate working on my birthday. I don't make a big deal out of my birthday (unless it gains me an advantage, e.g. "It's my birthday... you should get up and get me a drink" etc.) but I hate being in work for my birthday. It all started a few years back when I worked at BN and the M.O.D, Lauren, decided that my birthday teamed with a full house for open mic night would be an excellent opportunity to surprise me in the middle of the store with balloons and that obnoxious "happy birthday to you" song sung by a room full of strangers. Suffice to say I was not impressed.

Aaaaaanyway, I took the week off and did as little as humanly possible. Friday night we took our niece Kass for the night and had a nice relaxing evening at home. We watched Matilda and ate popcorn. The girls woke me up with the intoxicating aroma of bacon and pancakes and we picked up our other niece Kota to go see Despicable Me (a highly entertaining jaunt that I can't recommend enough). Saturday evening I stopped at the bottom of the hill to hang out with our friend Lissa for her birthday celebration, which conveniently coincided with a fireworks display for the Exeter Independence Festival. Mr. Maggie (James) regaled us with an impromptu set of accoustic tunes and fun was had by all. Sunday-Wednesday were pretty chill days of hanging out at home alone playing WoW and tearing through seasons 2 and 3 of Lost.

Wednesday the GF took the day off and we had a nice day together that consisted of me saying "it's my birthday, you should *insert menial task here*" a lot. Thursday-Saturday consisted of more WoW, more Lost up to midway through season 4, and a quick hop out to Portsmouth on Friday for lunch at the Red Hook Brewery with a few friends/coworkers that share the same birthday (give or take a day). I had their chicken tenders (meh) and a couple Mudslinger Spring Ales which were quite tasty.

Sunday we had some family over to the house for a small summer BBQ which turned out to be a pretty nice day (as in nobody tried to kill anyone else, which in my family seems to be quite an accomplishment these days). I managed to get a few decent shots for my photography course during the BBQ which I will share in another entry soon.

Over all a very relaxing week off from the hell pit. I totally needed it and think I will now be able to get to the finish line (more on that later) with a little more ease.

Mediocre Man vs. Depth of Field

Let's see, Not much to report on really. I am heading into my 3rd week of Intro to Photography and I have not pulled the trigger on a single shot of my own. Last Friday I did help Lissa shoot a wedding but she did all the heavy hitting stuff. She loaned me one of her camera's equipped with a sweet lens (note to self: find out what the range was on that lens and buy one) and I wandered the periphery shooting random stuff. All the shots I took were on her camera, and thus her card, but she did send me this shot that I managed to snag and it isn't all that bad.

Beyond that, I really haven't done any shooting beyond snapping off a few shots of a flower out front of our house yesterday in order to play around with depth of field. I think I finally understand the concept and managed to get a few halfway decent examples of how to alter the focal length in order to blur out the background.

Still, despite not having shot much I am having a blast with this class. I know I need to get out there and shoot, but yeah, me and 90+ degree weather with ungodly humidity don't exactly get along. I will have plenty of opportunity to shoot during the music fest on the 31st, and I will endeavor to get out there and at least pull the trigger on something else before then. I have a photojournalism project coming up next month for class so maybe I can use the fest shots to make something up for that. :)

Mediocre Man vs. The Afternoon Wedding

Tuesday past marked the first of my intro to photography classes. The professor seems really nice and knowledgeable, and you can definitely tell she is in love with her subject. The class was a fun, quiet, getting to know you type deal with a brief presentation on some of the basic terminologies, her expectations from us, what we can expect from her etc. The evening was only marred by a skull splitting headache that made it difficult for me to focus. It was so bad I actually got home, chewed a few aspirin and hit the bed for like half an hour until it passed. 

I mentioned previously that mi amigo, Kendar of the beer people, was hosting a music festival and that he had inquired about my services photographing the event. I graciously accepted under the consideration that I would have 4 weeks of beginners lessons under my belt by then. 

Now, this afternoon my dear friend and photography hero, Melissa Koren, called me up and asked me if I would be willing and available to help her shoot a wedding tomorrow. Last week she took a tumble and mangled her leg. Being the trooper she is, she is still shooting a wedding tomorrow and they just put a plaster cast on her leg this morning. She mostly just needs someone to lug her considerable--both in weight and volume--gear around for her. She said she also wants someone with her who knows how to handle a camera in case she needs a shot from a tricky spot.

I'll be honest, I'm kinda freaking out about it! She is an amazing photographer and she has worked really hard to build a really good reputation. She has always been an inspiration to me when it comes to photography. I hope I am up for it. 

Meep!

Mediocre Man vs. finales, photography, and music!

Public speaking wrapped up last week with my final speech about global overpopulation and its detrimental effects on the environment. I felt I did okay on that speech. Again, I got kinda tongue tied when I got a little ahead of myself. Overall though I think I managed to do kinda-sorta-maybe okay in the class. I have a week off before my next class which is just awesome!

Here is the intro to my powerpoint presentation.

After that I launched into my Powerpoint--which I haven't yet uploaded. Once I get that uploaded I will update this entry. 

Next up is Intro to Photography. I am already super stoked for this class. I have even been asked by my amigo Ken to photograph his upcoming event, Wyman's Pond Music Fest. I should be about midway into my course by then, so hopefully I will have learned some good stuff so I can capture at least a few decent shots. :) 

Note: Ken still has a few time slots open if anyone is interested in performing an unplugged set, hit the link above for details. 

Super excited for this course, super excited for the entire month of July! My company--shitty though it may be-- has added an extra day to our 4th of July holiday in an attempt to boost morale. So the last week of June I get a 4 day week, first week of July I get a 4 day week, second week of July they are having our annual company BBQ, third week of July I am taking off for my birthday, and the fourth week will be wrapping up the month with the music fest.

Hopefully the start to an awesome summer!

Mediocre Man vs. Boot Camp

So, I haven't mentioned it here yet, but I have rejoined the gym and have been going with my friend--and now personal trianer--Rocio. After the first week of torture going back to the gym with her she earned the name "Boot Camp."

Rocio is a former Olympic athlete in figure skating. After an accident shattered her leg and ended her skating career she stopped exercising while her injuries healed. She expressed a desire to get back in shape (not that she is even remotely out of shape in any stretch of the imagination) and I decided to tag along. The first night I went back to the gym I went with Rocio and my friend/professor Robert. By the end of that session I physically and literally felt like I was going to vomit on the floor. Both Rocio and Robert are health nuts and are in pretty damned good shape, juxtaposed with me who is in about as bad a shape as one can possibly be short of quadriplegia or morbid obesity. Subsequent trips have seen the nausea reduced quite a bit.

I have started a before and after photo project, but wont be sharing that until there is an actual "after" result to soothe the "before" image of me shirtless from your collective mental palettes. If all goes as planned I will try to turn it into a time lapse video. Each week I take 4 shots (front, side, back, other side) and will link those all together so it will appear to rotate and slim (hopefully). I am unsure yet if I want to track those results here or not, but I am leaning toward yes. I know if I attempt to keep more than one blog I will invariably lose interest in both.

So, so far I have tracked my attempts to expand my mental horizons via my collegiate efforts, and now I will attempt to chronicle my attempts to improve my physical situation via my adventures with Boot Camp.

I'll keep ya posted... if I survive.

Mediocre Man vs. Public Speaking: wrapping up.

So, public speaking is almost over. I imagine I will probably get an A for effort, but I don't feel any more comfortable delivering a speech in front of people. It's funny, I can stand in front of my class and hold a conversation with them, but as soon as I get into the presentation aspect I start to falter. My instructor commented that he was surprised to hear my voice shaking during my speech about gay rights and equality (you can view the powerpoint here). I heard/felt it too and remember thinking how odd it was because I was completely at ease in front of the class. I think it was more of an innate biological response as opposed to a psychological response due to nerves.

I have one last presentation to make on the coming Monday about Global overpopulation and whether more nations should adopt a similar policy to China's "one child policy." For the record I am all for it. Maybe not anything as harsh as China's policy, but the need for better family planning, birth control education, and legislation that penalizes rather than rewards unduly large families--especially those on the welfare system--is an absolute must for our species to survive much past the next half century.

Mediocre Man vs. Public Speaking: week something-or-other

We recently went down to Boston for a fantastic day in the sun to travel the Boston Freedom Trail. The idea was to walk the trail and at each location one of us would present an oral history of the site. I drew the Park Street Church and cringed a bit knowing full well my propensity to rage against the turpitude of "The Church" in all its incarnations.

As I delved into the research I found my anticipation was not without merit. I found that the Park Street Church often works with an organization called Exodus International, an anti-homosexual group that classifies homosexuality as a mental disorder and seeks to "cure" gays through behavioral modification and the words of Christ. 

Despite my skin crawling and the words tasting like ash I attempted to present the early achievements of the church in unbiased and impartial voice. My professor said that as long as we presented the history accurately we were allowed to also speak of the modern implications of each site. So yeah... I just had to speak my mind about it. My speech went a little something like this. 

I was the third stop along the trail, so once I got my speech out of the way I was free to enjoy the afternoon in the sun listening to my classmates dominate public speaking. Several of my classmates gathered a bit of a crowd for their speeches, apparently they thought we were the tour guides.  :) I ended up taking something like 170 pictures that day and used picasa to throw together a quick and dirty video slide show.  

Mediocre man vs. Public Speaking: Weeks two and three

Week two of public speaking was fairly interesting. Our task on evening one was to present a review of our text book How to Give a Damned good Speech by Philip Thiebert, which we were asked to read in its entirety over the course of the weekend of our first week. The book was relatively simple and proved an easy, if not somewhat sleep inducing read. Wheeler decided that we would present in the opposite order in which we arrived at class, and since I was the second person to show up, I was next to last to present.

It is somewhat difficult to present a topic without belaboring the points when 14 other people have presented their take on the same topic right before you the same evening. I touched lightly on a lot of the points that the others brought up and came in about a minute below my allotted time. I felt rather guilty, like I had copped out on the class with such a pathetic display.

The second evening of the class Wheeler presented an award to the best speaker from the first evening. She had to give an acceptance speech. Afterward, we watched several acceptance speeches on youtube to see how some famous people handle them. Before the end of class Wheeler laid out some slips of paper with our next speech topics; we selected at random and I drew the short straw with "photosynthesis." The challenge is to make the topic personal while delivering an expository speech for 5 minutes. I've decided to utilize a powerpoint presentation (which I will post here later so as to avoid spoilers just in case any classmates happen to stop in) to liven up my performance, and to give my audience something other than me to focus on.

Week 3 is only half way over but I wanted to share this bit because it was so much fun. As part of his torturous curriculum, Wheeler had us visit Breaking New Grounds for an open mic poetry reading hosted by Stone Pigeon. There were only 16 available slots so not all of us could get up to read, but those who did made us proud. The hostess invited us back and exclaimed how great we were. I used my phone to gather some really awful quality video (I really want a Digital Video camera, hint, hint) and put together a compilation movie of the presenters from class. We all had such a blast despite some of us initially having massive apprehension and skepticism in regards to the event.

Here is the video of the presenters that made it to the stage. Fear not, those that were unable to present at the mic will get their due in class on Wednesday (myself included).