I suppose an introduction is in order.
My Name is Rob. I am the epitome of average. I'm not great at any one thing, but I am passable fair at several things. I have an average body(i.e. too much of it), an average name (Robert was the 8th most popular name in 1978), I live in an average house (with a nice hardwood floor), and I am an average student (at the age of 31 I finally decided to get some college under my belt). Sure, I have a 4.0gpa, but that's only because I haven't been going long enough to fuck it up yet. I work an average job, and like the average American I will soon be unemployed-- my job is shipping down to Mexico.
I have no marketable job skills. I have been in the same mindless, dead-end job for the past 10 years. I move heavy things from one spot -----> to another spot. You could train a monkey to do what I do. I know my way around a computer, but I couldn't program, design, repair, or maintain a system or network, nor am I proficient in most business related software. I suck at math, I have a rudimentary understanding of common sciences, and I fail miserably at social interaction -- I swear like a truck driver and have a bit of a misanthropic streak. I Worked as a bouncer for several years, but there aren't a lot of job opportunities on Monster.com for meat-heads with a penchant for ass-holery.
The only things in my life that are above average are the people I know. My friends, my family, and my girlfriend are truly amazing and wonderful people. I have surrounded myself with brilliant people in the hopes that some of their brilliance might rub off on me and possibly put a spit-shine on this dull facade of mine.
My intent with this blog is to document my journey of self edification. I am at a crossroads in my life, and like Dante, I will be wading into the depths of the inferno in the hopes of forging a new me. I doubt if anyone other than me will ever read this; but then, my goal isn't to gain an audience, but simply to record the progress, the mishaps, the utter failures, and the triumphs.
Let the adventures begin!
All that rubbing is a two-way street my friend!
ReplyDeleteIt's not just the experiences in one's life that make it an enjoyable or remarkable one, it's the people you share the joys and make those marks with.
I wouldn't be the same guy I am today without your friendship and the years of camaraderie contained therein.
:::in drunk voice::: I love ya man!
Maybe the availability of trainable monkeys is why they are moving your job to Mexico. I don't know. I've never been. But as I'm going in three weeks, I'll let you know.
ReplyDeleteYou give yourself too little credit, Mr. Face. After all, the average American man does not go around quoting Dante... in fact, the average American probably has no idea who Dante is!
ReplyDeleteps - you're right, that girl of yours is pretty incredible!