Mediocre Man vs. The Black Lung

So this whole head/chest cold is still lingering around. I can honestly say that I haven't managed to get more than 2-3 hours of sleep on any given night since the Friday before last (3.12). I am beyond exhausted and it would seem that I have built up some sort of tolerance for NyQuil as my last few attempts to put myself into a coma were rather fruitless. Last night I couldnt stop coughing so after my beloved went to bed I ended up staying awake watching TV in the living room. Undercover boss turned into Cold Case which turned into a 2 hour National Geographic (I refuse to use its new, hip moniker "Nat Geo" as I find it fucking lame) documentary on the terrorist attacks of 9/11. After that much needed pick-me-up *sarcasm* I tried crawling into bed but found myself on the verge of hyper-ventilation due to trying not to cough and wake up the aforementioned sleeping beauty. In the end I decided to curl up on the futon in my office so I could comfortably cough myself to sleep... which did finally happen at around 5am. My love woke me with a kiss on the head at around 7:30 and the coughing and the difficulty breathing, talking, and being my usual sun-shiny and chipper self commenced.

On the plus side, if this coughing persists I will have some rocking six-pack abs to take to Jamaica in October! 

I spent the majority of my day doing as little as humanly possible at work (with the exception of researching sources for my next paper and writing my 2 page reading response which is due this evening). I decided that due to this affliction that I would likely be a hindrance to the rest of my class. I emailed my professor and asked her if it would be okay if I dropped off my assignments and then went home to scare the cats off with my throaty bark.

For your amusement, below is the email I sent to my professor. She got a kick out of it and excused me from class with instructions to just email her my assignments.

Good afternoon Liz,

As you may be aware I was a bit under the weather last week. Whatever this odious illness is that has entrenched itself in my lungs is proving most pernicious and has taken to making my life quite miserable. As a result of this unceasing malady I have developed a touch of bronchitis and am nearly incapable of taking a deep breath without falling into a fit of coughing. I don't believe that I am contagious at this point but I fear that my presence in class will cause a distraction as I seem to have a quivering need to cough nearly every 30 seconds or so. I have tried massive quantities of Robitussin, expectorants, suppressants, and bronchial inhalers and nothing seems to quiet the beast.

Of course, all of this is probably a massive over-share and for that I apologize; my loquacious nature tends toward the realm of excessive verbosity in my written communication. My point in all of this is to ask if it would be okay with you if I just stopped in tonight to hand in my reading response and show you my source cards for the argumentative essay and then check out? I don't wish to disrupt the rest of the class with my cacophonous coughing, nor do I want to risk infecting anyone else with this cursed affliction.

I will (unfortunately) be in work until 5pm and will endeavor to check my SNHU email often until then for your reply. I apologize in advance for having to miss class -- it isn't something I do lightly.

Kindest regards,

~V